10 Signs That it’s Time For a Swiping Sabbatical?
It can be exhausting keeping up with a multitude of different men, often across more than one app. Is it just me or do you feel like you are having the exact same conversation with all of them? I'm not proud to admit it but I have been known to copy and paste responses. People say dating is fun but sometimes it becomes so draining that all the fun is sucked out of it and we are left swiping mindlessly and replying on autopilot struggling to understand what the point is.
People say ‘love at first swipe’ but at this point I'm probably up to about ten billion swipes, which doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. And I still feel like I am no closer to finding love than I was at the first swipe.
When it's not fun anymore, when your eyes are glazing over slightly and your thumb goes a little numb it’s probably time for a dating app time out. Delete the app for a couple of weeks, maybe more, and when you come back to it your pzazz and purpose will hopefully be restored. You are not alone! Telling your life story over and over and never getting further than a small, seemingly insignificant chain of messages, is soul destroying, exhausting and quite frankly a waste of time.
If you are suffering from the following symptoms, hit delete right now and take your time back! Forget about the matches running out of time, the half dead conversations with men you aren’t even that fussed about, and the queue of likes waiting for you to decline. Just leave it all behind.
1. You get absolutely no joy when you get the ‘you have a match' notification
When I first started using the apps this was the most exciting part! The ‘BOOM you have a match!’ flashing onto my screen. I’d unlock my phone as fast as I could to see what fate had in store. Now I see that notification and more often than not I turn my phone back over and ignore it. Possibly because I am losing faith in the fact that the next match could be something great, so half the time I don’t even bother looking.
2. You are swiping for people you don’t even find attractive
My standards definitely seem to lower the longer I swipe. I’ve gone from being very selective to thinking, ‘he’s got no front teeth, but he dresses well’ or ‘he’s balding slightly but I like his smile’ perhaps not a bad thing to be slightly less superficial but it hasn’t worked for me so far.
3. You have forgotten what you do find attractive
Sometimes I find myself in such a swiping haze that I'm not actually sure what I'm looking for anymore. I’ve always been quite confident of my type but these days I’m questioning every swipe. Sometimes I even have to call in backup and send screenshots to my friends for a second opinion.
4. You are making absolutely no effort with your openers
It’s hard work isn’t it? Trying to be witty, charming, cute and intelligent all in one sentence. So exhausting that I have resorted to sending a GIF instead. It's simple and effective. (or perhaps not because I rarely get a positive response)
5. You don’t even know if you really want to date anyone right now
A few times recently I have got to the stage where they have asked if I want to go for drinks. That’s the goal right? You talk, flirt, get to know each other and then eventually arrange to meet. But for some reason I have no interest in meeting any of them. That’s normally the point where I ghost. Terrible I know.
6. You roll yours eyes at 90% of what people say
I have been rolling my eyes so much recently I wouldn’t be surprised if they got stuck like that. Perhaps I am being too critical but it seems that the majority of what people say is neither witty nor interesting and provides very little motivation to reply.
7. You have thrown your phone onto the bed more than once after reading a dreadful bio
The worst one I read recently was ‘You are sophisticated and classy but a little slut just for me’ MEN SUCK.
8. You have said out loud more than once in the last few weeks that men suck
Need I say more.
9. Sometimes you go wild and swipe for everyone just to see what happens
I feel like I'm actually losing the plot a little. Sometimes I get so bored I go on a swiping rampage and furiously swipe right as fast as my thumb can possibly move. I don’t recommend it. You just end up with a ton of matches you don’t really want and you still have to look at their terrible profiles and decide if you want to talk to them.
10. You have a headache
It’s time to step away.
Aren't these apps supposed to make dating easier? I'm not ready to write them or men off completely (although I've come close to the latter) but I definitely need a swiping sabbatical. Maybe when I return I’ll be a little less cynical and try a little harder. People do find love online but definitely not the way i’m going about it! It's time to step away and come back when I'm willing to put in the effort.