8 Bad Habits Emerging on Dating Apps
Are You a Victim or a Culprit?
I think we can all agree that there are pros and cons to dating apps. It’s why so many of us have a love hate relationship with them. How many of you have deleted, reinstalled, deleted and then reinstalled a dating app while single? It’s surprisingly common.
As frustrating as these apps can be, most of you will know at least one couple - or maybe more - who are together or even married after a successful swipe. And all us single millennial's are so experienced in the world of online dating that we can almost swipe without looking (just a figure of speech, but sometimes a fun game if you want to mix things up a little).
But, like with all things that become ingrained in our lives, bad habits start to emerge. Some of them intentional and somewhat conniving, others completely subconscious and innocent. How many of the following are you guilty of? If it’s more than 5 then girl, it might be time to take a dating app timeout. Step away, cool off, and come back when you're ready to play nice.
1. Pretending you are too cool for dating apps
How many of you have ever said to a match something along the lines of ‘I don’t know why I downloaded this’ or ‘I don’t actually like dating apps’ or even ‘I haven’t been on here in ages’
I’ve lost count of how many times I have read ‘downloading this’ as the answer to ‘the stupidest thing I have ever done’ question. Sound familiar? You are playing the ‘too cool for school’ game. We all know you swipe at least 3 times a day, have multiple matches on your hook and maybe even some dates lined up for the weekend. Give it up. You’re not going to be judged for using dating apps by a fellow user. So just embrace it and quit playing it cool.
2. Becoming obsessed with men's careers
Guilty as charged. I am officially a career snob thanks to those pesky little apps. BUT here is my defense… when all you have to go on are 4 simple facts, name, age, locations and job, then each one of these plays a sizable part in the decision making process. And, let’s be honest, the job is going to tell you much more about them than their name.
BUT I do not condone nor do I encourage career snobbery. Someone gave me this comparison recently: If you hit it off with someone in a bar, they were cute, charming, funny, they made you laugh and you had so much in common, you wouldn’t walk away if they say they’re a professional litter picker. Similarly, if a guy comes on to you in a bar and they are pretentious, arrogant and really rub you up the wrong way you’re not going to start fluttering your eyelashes if they say they’re a doctor. I think the moral here is, someone's job doesn't define who they are as a person or if you will get along. If you like the other limited facts you are presented with then give them a swipe and see if you hit it off.
3. Asking for their Snapchat before their phone number
When dating apps first started, ‘‘fuck boys’ seemed to be a little bit more subtle. They’d play the game for a while, charm you, get to know you and then swoop in with the dick pic, catching you completely off guard. Fast forward a few years and they simply have no patience. Straight after the introductions they are asking for your Snapchat. There’s no fooling me Dylan! I know what you want and you’re not getting it here.
4. Suggesting a date in the first 3 messages
This one is up for debate. Some people see dating apps more as a vehicle for being introduced to people. A quick swipe, get a match, say hi, then arrange to meet and proceed with the small talk from there. Others out there like to get to know someone a little more before taking the plunge, see if you actually have anything in common before you agree to spend several hours face to face with a potential weirdo.
I often see this as a little impatience. You know someone is getting a bit sick and tired of dating apps when they swoop straight in there with the ‘what are you doing Friday’. They have probably lost count of the amount of times they have explained their career to someone, told the story of where they grew up and all about their beloved dog Rufus. However tedious it is telling your life story over and over again, I would much rather a little back and fourth before jumping straight to the date.
5. No bio
Laziness. Sheer laziness. There are even pre-prepared questions for you to answer! All the thinking is removed. You don't have to be funny or charming. Just tell me who your dream dinner guest is and let me judge you accordingly!
6. Cheesy, overused pick up lines
Again guilty. I went through a phase (a 2 year phase) of opening every chat with a GIF of a whale jumping out the water that said ‘Whale Hello there’. I had mixed responses.
I am however, yet to receive this GIF back so I at least get points for originality.
7. Starting conversations with ‘Hey’
This is even worse than the whale GIF! ‘Hey’ screams lazy and unimaginative. This person probably hasn't looked beyond your first picture, and this will undoubtedly be the least interesting conversation of your life.
Don’t be a hey girl!
8. Listing very specific and superficial requirements
I have seen this a lot more recently and some people are actually getting rather sassy with it:
‘If you don't have a sense of humor swipe left now’
‘Not interested if you don’t like football’
‘Dog lovers only’
The cheek of it! People have actually started putting in requests. How about you just tell me what your interests are and I will compare mine accordingly?
If you aren’t a culprit of any of the above, then I'm sure you have been a victim of one or more of these bad habits. Next time, call them out on it! Don’t stand for the Snapchat warriors or the unimaginative ‘hey’ dudes.
If your score is 5 or higher then you my friend need to address your dating app bad habits. Write a bio, think of a great opener, engage in the small talk, set aside your career judgement and maybe you will actually find what you are looking for.