Does 'The One' Really Exist?
A question I have been trying to work out the answer to since the very first time I fell in love.
The concept of ‘The One’ can be difficult to believe but can also provide a beautiful nugget of hope in a sometimes crazy and lonely world and is often the very dream we hang on to every time our heart gets broken.
I have found the one. Not once, but twice and seeing as I am currently single I would like to think I am going to find it again for hopefully the third and final time. It almost seemed to good to be true, meeting ‘The One’ at 15. Turns out it was. But not all was lost because a few years later I found 'the one' again. Equally as magical, equally as in love. And here I am, 25 and probably more single than I have ever been.
I have always been a big believer in destiny, in fairytales, in true love, hence the ongoing quest and belief that one day I will find that person who makes me realise everything before them wasn’t real love. I trust my gut. I always have. Yes, I fall easy, I trust easy and I have a habit of getting completely immersed into whatever situation my life has put me in. Maybe my big heart and my fairytale mind has led my gut to believe things it shouldn’t. But isn’t that the whole point of a gut? We listen to that when our head and our heart are telling us the wrong thing? Well this truly was my gut. Both times every single fibre in my bones, in my heart, in my head, had me believe that they were the one. The one I would love forever, the one that I had been waiting for.
TWICE! They say the ONE because there is one of them. Singular. One man. One human being whom we are supposed to be with. I have had TWO ones! Neither of whom I am with now which would lead me to believe that there will be a third ‘one’.
So now I am left thinking…. Does the one actually exist, or is it just a myth that we all hold on to to get us through every heartbreak, every lonely night? The hope, the fantasy that the one is out there, the one is waiting for us and every decision we make, every step we take is leading us closer to them. In my case closer to the third and hopefully final ‘one’.
I am living proof that there is more than one person out there for all of us. And yes I didn’t end up with either but the point is, I could have. If timing and circumstances had been different both of my ones could have been THE one. So many we need to start emphasizing the THE. because there isn't just one person who is right for us. There are hundreds and many of us will have the pleasure of falling in love with more than one of them.
I used to see it as a tragedy. The fact I had truly believed I had found him...twice. But now I see it as a privilege. I have experienced movie worthy, head over heels love with two amazing men. Neither of whom are the person I will end up with but neither were a waste either.
Maybe we have ‘ones’ for different moments in our lives. The one who teaches us what love is, teaches us who we are and what it feels like to be in love. And the one who we have adventures with, take risks with and teaches us what we want from love. And finally, one day there will be the one we buy a house with and the one we say 'I do' with and the one we grow old with.
So I guess I do still believe in the one. The concept has evolved slightly from when I was 15 but so have I.