Good Things Come to Those Who Date
‘You’ll find it when you’re not looking.’ is probably one of the worst pieces of advice of all time. Hands up if one of your smug coupled up friends has said this to you before as an almost sympathetic pat on the shoulder as you unashamedly say that you’re still single.
Don’t get me wrong, I get the idea. People say when you stop desperately trying to find love the universe thinks it would be hilarious and ironic to have cupid show up on your doorstep - just when you started thinking love was never going to happen!
But why should you have to ‘give up’ to find what you’re looking for? This goes against everything we are taught growing up. Consistency and persistency are the well known keys to success. So, why is it that, with our love lives, it’s seen as the wrong approach, or almost desperate to actively search for love? Why is waiting patiently and putting love on the back burner deemed a better idea than going out and getting it yourself?
Stop waiting for cupid to shoot his arrow, fire your own
Well I’m here to give you a new piece of advice. ‘You have to be in it to win it.’ I hate to break it to you, but Cupid is not going to come knocking on your door, and princes don’t ride around on white horses searching for sleeping girls to kiss (because in reality that would be creepy.)
I’m not saying you have to immediately download a dating app and go on a mad dating frenzy if you want to find love, but I am saying stop sitting around waiting to be rescued. If you want to win in the game of love, then you have to go out there and play! Even if that means just putting yourself out there a little more. Go out for drinks with your friends and, instead of ignoring all the cute guys, why not go talk to one.
If you are loving being single right now and fully embracing the era of YOU then by all means carry on (if you still struggle with this then read ‘How to Embrace Single Life’). However, if you are at a point in your life where you feel ready to share it with someone then go find someone to share it with. Don’t give up or stop looking in the hope that you will trick the universe into delivering you a man on a silver platter. Start dating - and have some fun whilst you’re at it!
Get in the game if you want to win the game
Of course, dating can be scary. The awkward first date dinner, the small talk, the silences, the lingering eye contact - or lack of. But it can also be so exciting. The butterflies, the conversation that flows effortlessly the whole night...Before you know it, you're 4 glasses of wine in and laughing so hard it’s coming out your nose!
"sometimes we get so caught up with the end goal we forget to enjoy the moment."
Most of us date hoping it will lead somewhere. But sometimes we get so caught up with the end goal we forget to enjoy the moment. Even if the person sitting opposite you most definitely isn't the one, they could turn out to be great company anyway. They could be inspiring, hilarious, interesting and make for a very lovely evening.
No date is a waste of time. How will we ever find out what we don’t want or what our deal breakers are if we don’t put ourselves out there. Every single date is a lesson, an experience and an opportunity.
Good things come to those who date. So play the game, put yourself out there and who knows what will happen. You might become the smug friend giving the sympathetic shoulder pat and saying ‘you’ll find it when you’re not looking’ (but please don't because we all secretly hate that friend)
I’ll leave you with a challenge...
This week, make a dating move you never normally would, something completely out of your comfort zone. Is there a cute guy at work you’ve had your eye on for ages…? Well guess what, you’re going to tell him. Do something, anything, even if it’s just making flirtatious eyes at someone across the room when you’re out for drinks! However small, challenge yourself this week to be bold, be brave and get in the game.